Life: Unexpected

Radio Silence

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I guess you could say it’s writer’s block. There’s certainly no shortage of things to write about. But the words are stuck in my throat. I have a dozen half-completed posts drafted over the summer. Half-formed ruminations on everything from travel to climate resilience to fascism. But nothing feels like the right thing to say.

I realize there is no ‘right’ thing to say at this time. I can only tell my own story. But that’s a challenge when it feels like you’re drowning in everyone else’s voices. When the news and social media feel like a firehose of voices – most of them angry or scared. I’ve questioned whether to add my own voice to the stream. Especially when I’ve found myself wanting to disengage from the stream so that I can hear the thoughts in my own head.

It’s good to hide in a box sometimes, to recover from the onslaught.
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Protecting our National Parks is an Act of Patriotism

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Some of my first memories involve riding on my Dad’s shoulders as we hiked past stinky geysers that shot mist and clouds high above our heads. I also remember staring into the abyss of a yellow-walled canyon, while water foamed and gurgled nearby, then raced over the rim. At night we had the thrill of sleeping in a log cabin with bunk beds – but Mom said I was too small to sleep in the top bunk. I was almost three years old the first time I visited Yellowstone National Park, on a road trip with my parents from California to visit my grandmother in Ohio.

Returning to Yellowstone’s stinky glaciers at a much later point in life.

We also took a helicopter ride over the Badlands (which were several years away from becoming a national park at that point). I remember wearing headphones that pinched my head as we swooped over a landscape that, to me, looked like a layered ice cream sundae.

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The voices that hold space in my head

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“It wasn’t meant to be.”

Mom said that so often, the words still play through my head at least once a week, even through I’ve always had a very different take on the world. I don’t believe things are meant to be or not. They are what we make them. Mom was not a religious person. She never talked about a god (unless she joked that maybe there was a goddess?), but she was raised in a religious family, and there was an element of faith and preordination that was deeply ingrained in her. It came out in her way of speaking. And now her voice is forever in my head. The things she said again and again will always be with me.

My mom in 2013, visiting Alaska.
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Neck deep in mud: how we move forward

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“There is the mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

(As a reminder, from my Disclaimer page: this site is not an official site of the University of Northern Colorado. The views expressed here are entirely those of the author, and do not represent the views of the University of Northern Colorado, the Department of Earth and Atmospheric Science at UNC, nor any other program or individual at the university or elsewhere.)

No time to read? Here’s the summary: We need to act as a collective to battle authoritarianism and climate change. We need to act now. White people, especially, have a responsibility to act. This is a clumsy, chaotic, stupid coup – there is still a chance our democracy will live another day. I have to hope that a lotus will grow from the mud. See the bullet points at the end calling for action. And continue to exercise your First Amendment right whenever you can.

The lotus emerging from the Mekong Delta.
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Resilience Amid Disruption

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(As a reminder, from my Disclaimer page: this site is not an official site of the University of Northern Colorado. The views expressed here are entirely those of the author, and do not represent the views of the University of Northern Colorado, the Department of Earth and Atmospheric Science at UNC, nor any other program or individual at the university.)

Call to Action (if this is too long for you to read): Do one small thing to build resilience. And please share a good recipe for chocolate chip cookies that doesn’t require eggs.

Do you ever feel your words drowning before they pass through your lips? Like the rain beginning to fall just before sunrise. There’s something there that needs to shine out, but it gets lost in shadows. That is where my voice has been these past several months, lost in the shadows.

The world has zapped my energy. Floods, fires, drought, heat wave. Along with other climate scientists, I have spent the last 25 years shouting ‘the sky is falling’ over and over. Now that it is falling, many choose to be blind – afraid that recognizing it for what it is will ruin the world we’ve worked so hard to build. Sorry. The ruin is happening now because not enough people (especially people with power and money) have paid attention.

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Ode to Our Little Buddha

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The vet said he wouldn’t make it to New Year’s Day. It was mid-December when he stopped eating. His kidneys were failing, she said. He was already quite far along. He also had hypothyroidism and a heart murmur. His little body was shutting down. He had a good run, at almost 16 years. We were given saline fluids and needles to administer 150ml under the scruff of his neck each night, too keep him comfy as long as we could. It doesn’t seem like a lot of fluid, but it took 4-5 minutes for that much fluid to flow under his skin. That’s a long time to hold still for a cat who likes to squirm. I asked him every time: Is this ok? Can we give you fluids? And he let us carry him to the kitchen table.

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Shining the light on the ground beneath my feet

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Have you ever looked down and found that you are standing on something rather unexpected?

I grew up in a place that experienced frequent small earthquakes. If you have ever felt one, you know that no matter how small the movement of the solid earth beneath you, it always throws you off center. Sometimes you feel like it must be in your head, this sudden motion from something that felt so solid. You might feel a bit queasy, a bit off balance, like the world isn’t as it seems. If you’ve studied a bit of geology, you’ll know that there’s a whole world beneath your feet that you really can’t see with your own eyes – and it’s always moving and shifting.

Walking on solid earth…we hope.
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Gratitude to you all for 2023

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(Long post! If you’re short on time, you can scroll for the photos!)

This past year was pretty spectacular. Some people say that about every year (except 2020). Some people say every year sucks (especially 2020). Most years we experience a mix of joy with other things – sometimes really difficult. But I feel lucky: this past year brought so many people into my life, and I need to acknowledge how much of an impact they have all had on me.

So, for my 2023 reflections, I decided to share with you all a photo collage of all the people that sweetened my life this year!

Autumn in Rocky Mountain Park!

The problem is that when I started combing through my photo collection (which contains thousands from 2023 alone), I suddenly found myself with nearly 50 photos that I felt I HAD to post. That’s way too many for one blog post! So as you scroll through the people that made my life amazing in 2023, please know that this does not include everyone!

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Singapore’s unwelcome parting gift

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Note: I’ve been back in Colorado for the past month, but still have a lot of stories to share with you from Vietnam. I first wrote this post in April and debated whether to publish it. People – especially in the US – get really sensitive when you remind them about the pandemic – or about masking. I wrote this mostly to process my own emotions around getting COVID for the first time (hopefully the only time, but I really doubt it). So, this post sat in a folder, neglected until this week, when, once again here in the US, I had a bunch of reminders that COVID is still floating around and impacting people’s lives every day.

Singapore sent me off with an unwelcome parting gift. When you have successfully avoided the plague for three years (especially while living in the US), you start to get a little cocky. You see advertisements for studies of ‘people who have never tested positive for COVID-19’ and you think: Yes, that’s me! I’ve never tested positive!

If you really want to avoid COVID, N95s work really well! This one from 3M is comfortable enough to wear on an 11 hour flight.

But when you wear a mask in public, avoid crowds and indoor gatherings, generally do your shopping online, and find yourself checking for hand sanitizer and a mask in your bag as religiously as you check for your phone and your keys, it IS possible to avoid the virus. N95 masks are spectacular protection, based on my experience on several trans-oceanic flights where I’m now sure there is always someone who is COVID positive on board.

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Snapshots from a city walk on a Saturday

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Written on a Saturday in mid-February…

I have a routine now. While it’s easy to imagine living in another country as romantic and exotic, each day filled with adventure and memories that will last a lifetime, the fact is, when you have work to do, the adventure necessarily gets set to the side, especially when your work involves a lot of mental energy. You start seeking rhythms and routines that feel familiar and help you get into that work mindset without burning out.

The rows of greenhouses nestled between houses and villas is becoming a familiar sight on my daily walks.

For example, Vietnamese coffee is world-renowned for being extra strong, extra sweet, and served in all sorts of creative ways – with egg, with condensed milk, with coconut milk. There’s even a cafe near campus that sells coffee with black garlic! This is garlic that has been aged at low heat and high humidity for several weeks. Supposedly, it loses the strong flavor of garlic and becomes a bit sweet. Not being huge fan of sipping on garlic cloves, I haven’t tried it yet! I’ve tried several other types of coffee, however, and enjoyed drinking it. But at home I settle for some version of English Breakfast tea. You can only find it in the bigger supermarkets here, since it’s not that popular. But that’s what I drink each morning here.

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